


Holding On Strong

by mochi2zhonglele



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mark is an Asshole, Mpreg, Ok bye, Okay I suck at tags, everyone from nct will appear, jeno is broken and hurt, kingdom au, nomin as close friends, probably gonna be five chapters long, you'll hate mark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 20:14:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16353521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochi2zhonglele/pseuds/mochi2zhonglele
Summary: It's hard to not get hurt when your partner hates you for the death of his brother and lover. Especially when he sees you as the reason behind their death.Now that something new has popped up in their lives and he was scared how the other would react to the news.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a markno kingdom au that i have been craving to write. there is mpreg content and jeno will not be leading the relationship or in some other's terms as top. so you can move away if you're not comfortable.
> 
> also it's chaptered. this kid here still doesn't know how to make it chaptered through my phone so yeah.

One more day and Mark will be back from Muhania after a few long months. It's been a crucial time waiting for the King to come back, especially when there is news patiently waiting for him. Jeno paced in his room, hands in his robe pockets. Jaemin on one of the chairs in the room, hands playing with his dyed pink hair. He watched as his friend walked back and forth, biting his nails nervously. Inside his head he planned on what to say, on what to say about the day he discovered his body was carrying two.

Mark and him weren't at good terms, especially after the most recent war in Dereum, the kingdom Mark is ruling, the kingdom Jeno is currently residing. The arranged marriage between Dereum's King and Weuyon's First Prince was supposedly to create allies between the two kingdoms but it only made the King hate the Prince more. Jeno never hated Mark- in fact, he was just fine having to start a life with a newly crowned King but Mark sees him differently. To Mark, it's Jeno whose the main reason behind his brother's and lover's death. If Mark didn't divert his attention from the battle to help Jeno's injury, none of them would have died. And none of this would have happened.

There were times where they fought, the topic always revolving over the death of Mark's brother and lover. It hurt Jeno a lot whenever the name of Lee Donghyuck was raised, especially in a sentence like **_"Donghyuck wouldn't have died if it wasn't for your careless self!"_** or **_"If you weren't so careless, I would have been happily wedded to Donghyuck instead of you!"_** _._ Jeno would retort back, saying that he never needed Mark's help and Mark shouldn't help him since his brother was more important. But there would be days where Jeno gives up and cries, running to Jaemin's room for comfort.

Jaemin was the only person to console him. He was always there whenever Jeno cried, choking on his sobs as he told him how he's starting to love Mark despite the pain he was experiencing but Mark couldn't let Donghyuck go. He would listen to Jeno's rants on how differently Mark behaves whenever he's around- infront of others and behind doors. Sometimes he would get stressed seeing Jeno cry, he would vent it out on Renjun, who would attentively listen to his brother's mistakes.

But Mark still couldn't let Donghyuck go even months after the battle. There were tears in his eyes when he placed the crown on Jeno's head, visualising him as Donghyuck instead. He would visit Donghyuck's grave at night whenever the castle work became too overwhelming for a young King like him, instead of Jeno who was always waiting in the room for him. He loved Donghyuck and to see him being stabbed by their enemy right infront of him, broke him. And the fact that Jeno just came into his life as Donghyuck's replacement, made him hate the other more.

All the drama made it hard for Jeno to form sentences on how to break the news to Mark once he comes back. The clock on the wall mocked him, the hands of the clock teasing him that he has only hours left before Mark is back in Dereum. Dizzy from all the pacing, he sat on his bed, head buried in his hands. Jaemin walked over and rubbed the latter's back. Things have been going crazy since the day he founded out the little bean growing in him.  
  


 

 

_He was getting a little too dizzy and nauseated for the past week and his stubborn self refused to visit the castle's doctor. He got paler and paler as time goes on, his body getting skinnier due to his constant vomiting. He still does his duties, making sure the castle staff does their work. He would occasionally head to the garden to help the gardeners working there. The gardeners would refuse as they don't want the King to find out that the Prince was helping them out with the gardening. It's not like he cares,_ **_he_ ** _was the one who volunteered._

_It was hot, a really hot summer day and they are out under the sun gardening. The hats they wore didn't help that much as they felt their skin burn from the heat. He wasn't much of a difference either, occasionally wiping his damp forehead over and over again thanks to the blistering heat. After an hour he spend in the castle garden, his world started to spin. He flopped to the ground and winced at the migraine pounding his head. The gardeners scrambled to their feet to the pained male._

_"What's going on?"_

_A male around the same age as the Queen ran into the garden, pink hair bouncing at every step he took._

_"Tell me what happened?" He demanded._

_"Master Na, we didn't force him to do any gardening. He just collapsed due to the heat." Said a gardener, panicking._

_"I know you didn't." Jaemin whispered, crouching to bring the latter to his chest. "Call the castle staff to stand by a cold glass of water. And ask a guard to help me bring Jeno to his room."_

_In fact he didn't need any guard, he carried Jeno up with ease, frowning at such light weight. The guard guided Jaemin to Jeno's quarters, gently lying him down on the bed before asking him to leave._

_"Jeno." Jaemin whispered, shaking the other gently._

_"It hurts." Jeno whined._

_"What hurts?"_

_"My head."_

_A maiden passed a cold glass of water with an ice pack into the room, Jaemin gladly taking it into his hands. He sighed._

_"You aren't healthy. You're so skinny and light. You're pale as well." Jaemin said, putting the ice pack on Jeno's forehead. "Are you sick?"_

_"I think?" The older replied, sighing. "I've been throwing up these days and nothing appeals to my taste buds."_

_"Lets visit the doctor after you get enough rest. I'll let Renjun know you are incapable for your duties at the moment." Jaemin assured._

_"It's not like it made any difference, I don't do much in the castle."_

_"It doesn't matter, Jeno. Now sleep."_

_The sleep was nice, but the news when we woke up wasn't. Jeno woke up to a squeal from Jaemin who has been held down by Renjun so he won't make any noises too loud for Jeno to wake up- which failed. He sat up confused, seeing the castle doctor talking to Jaemin and Renjun with a face of excitement. He rubbed his eyes and looked at them in confusion._

_"What's going on?" Jeno asked with a raspy voice._

_"Jen, have you and Mark did it already?" Jaemin questioned a little too excitedly._

_The questioned male blushed. "I guess? Before he left for Muhania that is. Why?"_

_Renjun looked away with uncertainty evident in his eyes and body language. Meanwhile Jaemin was the complete opposite._

_"JENO YOU'RE PREGNANT!" He exclaimed._

_Judging by the size of his abdomen Jeno wouldn't be able to tell he was pregnant- well, until he touches it. His eyes shrunk at the thought of telling Mark when he comes back. It's been a month and a half since Mark left Dereum for Muhania, that means the baby is about a month and half old. Jaemin was enthusiastic, Renjun wasn't. He understands now why Renjun was acting like that._

_"No... it's too soon. I can't- we can't- can't handle the baby if our relationship is like this! He will- he will-" Jeno stammered, tears brimming in his eyes._

_"Whoa calm down, Jen." Jaemin's smile faltered as he sat beside the hyperventilating male, pressing him gently to the column between his neck and shoulder. "We'll work this out together."_

_"I'll help as well, Jeno." Renjun assured, bending down to match his eye level with Jeno's. "Mark hyung is in the wrong sometimes, I'll make sure things go well on the day he comes back. Don't worry."_

_It's weird to have the Third Prince of Dereum to bend down at person with a slightly lower status. Jeno only nodded before sobbing into Jaemin's robes. If Jaemin wasn't a carrier or Renjun's lover, he would have married him instead of the Lee Minhyung that ruled Dereum._

 

 

 

It's another three more hours till the sun rises and Jeno couldn't sleep. The aromatherapy oil sitting at his bedstand remained untouched as he stressed over what to say. They've gotten the word that Mark will arrive by sunrise from Muhania's dove messenger and it has been driving Jeno crazy. He smoothed his hand over his four month old baby bump. He was starting to show and almost everyone in the castle knew he's carrying the King's baby. He doesn't want Mark to know right when he comes back so he had the biggest robe he could find in the closet being set aside. He had made sure the robe was baggy enough to cover his bump and Jaemin assured he won't find out immediately until he took it off.

"I know you aren't asleep." Jaemin's voice let his heart skip a beat.

"Sorry." Jeno pushed the covers off his face, to see Jaemin leaning at the doorframe.

"You're going to have another migraine like this, Jen. Sleep."

"I can't."

The younger sassed. "I'm sure you are a grown up twenty two year old prince that doesn't need nursery rhymes to put them to sleep."

Jeno looked at his friend frustratingly. "I'm not kidding, I can't sleep." He emphasised each word.

"At least get some forty winks or something. Three hours will be enough."

"Im scared."

Jaemin sighed. "I know, Jen. Just sleep first."

Jeno sighed and closed his eyes as he rubbed his bloated tummy, different scenarios of Mark's reaction running through his head. The bed weight shifted and by the scent he knew it was Jaemin, rubbing his back as comfort. His eyes watered, wishing it was Mark doing this. Slowly he drifted off to dreamland. 

 

 

 

A trumpet woke Jeno up with a startle, sitting up straight almost immediately. He checked the clock and gasped. Mark has arrived by now. He slipped his feet into a pair of slippers ready for him and rushed to grab his robes. He looked over the window and could see Mark's army from a distance. Jeno frowned when he realised the amount of soldiers had reduced by more than half. The gates opened, letting Mark and his army in. The prince put his robes on and tied it together loosely to not make his baby bump obvious.

The moment Mark's horse stepped into the lands of Dereum, Jeno rushed out, brisk walking through the halls. The maidens passing by shot him a scared look- pregnant people shouldn't be running. Jeno's heart threatened to beat out of his ribcage as he gets closer to the main hall where Mark would come in from. He gripped onto his robes tight so he won't trip, panting by the time he was only a few rooms away from the hall. He heard the big doors open and froze in his tracks.

'It’s not the right time to stop, Jen.' He thought.

The Prince rubbed a hand over the baby bump and sighed. "Let's go through this together, okay? Mommy loves you."

Tired out, he took slow steps and could feel his legs turn jelly at the nervousness that has been crawling in his veins for some time. Jeno fixed the elven crown on his head and made sure if he was in the right condition to present himself. The sounds of horses faded as they were brought to the saddle.

"Get enough rest." Jeno flinched at Mark's stern voice. "The trip to Muhania was exhausting and I want every single on of you to restore your energy because I don't want any tired soldiers when an enemy attacks without notice. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Good. You're dismissed."

The soldiers marched away to their quarters and Jeno could distinguish Mark's by the soft footsteps landing on the velvet carpets of the stairs. He held his robes securely and walked out from where he was hiding, fear coursing through his veins when at the sight of the King going up the stairs still in his armor.

"Mark." He called with a soft scared voice.

The Dereum ruler looked up and frowned. "Save whatever you want to tell me later, Jeno. I need to change out of my armor."

"Okay." Jeno obeyed, voice getting softer and fearful.

He trailed behind Mark as the older walked to _their_ bedroom. Jaemin walked pass, giving him a squeeze in the shoulder as a sign of assurance. He sat on their bed obediently as he waited for Mark to exit the bathroom. The more he had to wait, the more the pain and fear accumulated in him. The bathroom door swung open, revealing a humbly dressed King.

"Mar-"

"Hyung."

The older male hummed and walked towards the door where Renjun was standing, as if Jeno wasn't there. Jeno bit his lip and wiped the tears away from the corner of his eyes. He listened to Renjun explain what needs to be urgently done since another kingdom named Sobang has been waiting for a response.

"I'll get it done later." Mark said with a tired voice.

"I'll take note of that. There are a number of things to settle at least by this week. I had done some that didn't need your presence so I think that's done  and over with. But we need you in your office after dinner. The King of Tendei wants have a word with you." Renjun said.

"Noted."

Mark closed the door and locked the door. Jeno fidgeted in his seat and stood up. The older was preoccupied, searching for a certain item from his desk. The air was thick with silence as no one spoke. The King seemed to not acknowledge the younger's presence, making Jeno feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Mark." He called in a hushed tone.

He knew the other heard him and with lack of response he was given, Jeno decided to raise his voice by _a bit._

"Mark... I want to tell you something."

The older hummed, back still facing him, body language showing disinterest. Jeno got up and made his way a few steps away from Mark. He tapped the King's shoulder, earning a groan and a lazy **_"What do you want, Jeno? I'm tired."_** Jeno gently turned his partner around to face him. His shaking fingers slowly touched the string of his robe.

"I want to show you something." He whispered, voice quivering.

Mark raised an eyebrow. Jeno delicately untied the string, his heart beating faster than lightspeed. He took in a deep breath and slid the robes off his shoulders, revealing him in his silk pajamas he haven't managed to change out from. He braced himself when Mark's eyes widened. A tear ran down Mark's face. Jeno knew what was in the older's mind. _He wished it was Donghyuck who carried his child. Not me._

"I'm pregnant, Mark."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clarify, mark and renjun are wearing outfits from boss era, jeno and jaemin are in robes while the rest of the castle staff's clothing differ with their title and job. and their heights are changed to suit the story. both mark and renjun are taller than jeno and jaemin. the timing here is like the medieval times that is slowly moving entering the modern world. it means that they are currently inventing the technology in the 1800s like a simple clock for an example. yall good? okay you can read now. ^^

Things were just the about the same between them even after that short revelation. They didn't talk, only when necessary. One thing that changed was Jeno's condition. He had gotten skinnier, a lot skinnier than he was before. He couldn't bring himself to eat and he'll just end up throwing up whatever he ate if he was being force-fed. The castle staff were worried, giving him tea and little tid-bits for the Prince to eat. He had gotten weaker and had been sleeping most of the time. 

"Eat up, please. It's not healthy for you and the baby." Jaemin begged, pushing a plate of bread towards the pale looking male. 

Jeno looked up from the book he was reading. "I don't have the appetite, Jaemin."

" You've been saying that for weeks now. It's bad, you know. The baby's a week away from reaching five months and I tell you, Jeno. It will drastically affect both of you." The younger insisted. 

The Prince shut the book close and looked at his friend tiredly. "When I say I don't have the appetite, I really don't. I can't eat. Don't force me. Please I'm tired of throwing up."

Jaemin sighed and placed the plate on the top of the stack of papers. He rubbed his face with his hands. Jeno can be stubborn, ridiculously stubborn in fact. Knowing the older won't budge, he continued writing, indulging himself in the storybook he has been writing. Jeno who was sitting across his desk, caressed his bloating tummy. He's showing a lot now, he doubts there was only one baby living in there. His lips curved into a small smile on when a soft kick against his hand. It's was early for the baby to start kicking but it's not like Jeno cared. As long as he knows his baby was doing fine. 

"Why are you smiling like that, Jen?" Jaemin asked, putting his chin on his palm. 

"He kicked." 

The younger gasped and got up slowly from his seat before walking his way to Jeno's side. He crouched beside Jeno's chair, eyes shining in excitement. 

"He's not kicking that strong in the first place. It's hard to feel it." The Prince giggled, rubbing his hand. "Maybe next time, Nana."

Jaemin pouted. "Aw. I'll wait for you lil girl."

A chuckle left Jeno's lips. "How do you know it's a girl?" 

"How do you know it's a boy?"

A knock on the library door interrupted their conversation. "Come in!" Jaemin shouted. 

A maiden stepped in and bowed at the royals. "Your Highness, the King would like to see you at his office."

Jeno paled at the words that came out from her mouth. His back was facing the maiden's direction. He looked at Jaemin in fear and nodded his head. 

"Inform the King he will be on his way."

The maiden bowed. "I will, Master Na." She said before leaving and closing the door shut. 

Right when she left, Jeno placed a hand on his chest where his racing chest belonged. It was rare for Mark to call him out of nowhere, especially in the afternoon. Sensing the Prince's fear, Jaemin took the older's hand in his and squeezed it. He looked into the latter's shaking orbs. Ever since the day Jeno told Mark he was pregnant, Mark's demeanour became more dark and unpleasant. He does carry a friendly aura around the castle staff, Renjun and Jaemin but to Jeno, it was the complete opposite. He was now scared of Mark, unlike before where he didn't care. 

"Hey don't be so scared." Jaemin assured. 

"It's never him to call me. Normally I come to him." Jeno said. 

"Maybe it's important. Now let's go shall we?"

Jeno wordlessly stood up with Jaemin's aid. He gripped onto the younger's arm as they walked out from the library. Mark's office wasn't so far but for a pregnant male like Jeno, it was quite a burden. The closer they get to Mark's office, the more scared Jeno became. They stopped right in front of the door, just an inch or two before the wooden door. Jaemin raised his hand and knocked onto the door softly but loud enough for the person inside to hear. 

"Come in." said Mark's stern voice. 

With shaking hands, Jeno pushed the door open. He entered slowly with a little difficulty from the heavy door. Mark was sitting behind his desk, eyebrows furrowed as he focused on the scrolls laid before him. He closed the door gently and took slow steps to bring himself closer to the King. 

"You have called?" Jeno asked with a shaky voice. 

"The King of Ikeunen will be coming tonight for dinner and will be staying over for a few nights." Mark informed in a monotonous tone, still writing down on the scrolls. "I don't want you to waste your time doing nothing. Find a proper outfit to wear for the dinner. Ask the staff to assist you with that. You're dismissed."

That's all?

Jeno blinked. "Do you need me to get your outfit ready as well?" 

Mark glanced at the clock on his wall. "I don't see why not."

Jeno had never been so scared on picking clothing before. 

 

The royal family was at the main hall, waiting for the King of Ikeunen to bust through the doors. Jeno moved about restlessly in his outfit. It was a little tight around the neck and arms since he has been gaining weight because of his pregnancy. The robe had also shaped Jeno's baby bump well but it felt a little suffocating. He was proud over his choice of clothing for Mark who was comfortably pacing around waiting. Renjun wasn't so far away, just standing across the room. Jaemin was there as well since he was the Third Prince's fiancé. 

The huge castle doors opened and unceremoniously stepped in the King, his big feet stomping onto the floor as he spread his arms wide. Mark's lips turned into a huge smile, something Jeno haven't seen for a while. The tall King of Ikeunen hugged Mark, a boisterous laugh echoing in the castle halls. Mark's laugh followed after. 

"Ay, Mark! It's been so long!" He shouted a little too loud, smacking Mark's back. 

"Yo Lucassss. How is it like being King?" Mark asked, grinning. 

"I should ask you the same thing man."

The two chatted for a while before introducing Lucas to Renjun and Jaemin. And as expected, Jeno was being introduced last. Lucas whistled as he eyed Jeno's bloated tummy. 

"Dang, Mark. You got married half a year ago and you're already having children." He complimented. 

Mark let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "Heh, yeah."

Jeno only smiled as he watched them converse, not wanting to be part of the conversation. Mark, Lucas and Renjun were friends back in royal school, which explains them dropping formalities and acting like they were never part of a royal family. Jaemin being the social butterfly he was, mixed in quite well, unlike Jeno. 

"Yukhei!" Called a soft voice. 

"Holy sh- I forgot about Jungwoo." Yukhei murmured, running towards the door where the voice came from. 

A heavily pregnant male hobbled in with Yukhei by his side. "You forgot about me." He scolded his husband, failing to look angry and look like a mad puppy. 

"Sorry, baby." The younger apologised. 

"You're forgiven." Jungwoo sighed, looking away from his husband, rolling his eyes. 

Jeno and Jungwoo's eyes met and like a switch has been turned on, they both gasped, a look of shock on their faces. Knowing Jungwoo is practically unable to walk at this rate, Jeno walked towards him, hugging him. 

"Hyung, I missed you!" He exclaimed. 

Jungwoo giggled, pulling away. "I missed you too. How are you?" 

"Good, I guess." Jeno lied. "You?" 

"Tired. Well, baby's gonna pop in a week's time."

Yukhei looked at them back and forth, blinking profusely. "You know each other?" He questioned. 

"I used to take care of him when he was a kid. He's so grown up." Jungwoo said, ruffling Jeno's hair. 

"That's cool. Wow. What a small world we live in." Yukhei chuckled. 

Jaemin piped in. "Instead of staying here talking, why don't we head for dinner? Food is being served."

Yukhei smiled. "Why not? In fact, we are starving. Ikeunen to Dereum isn't only a minute away."

"Follow me then."

Renjun and Jaemin led Yukhei to the dining room, Mark trailing right behind. Jeno held out a hand for Jungwoo to hold and was about to assist him to the dining room only to be stopped by the pregnant male himself. 

"Wait." He whispered, turning his neck back. "I told them to be faster." He murmured. 

Jeno blinked. "What?" 

"Chenle! Jisung!" Jungwoo called. 

In just a few seconds two boys in their middle teens barged in, looking like a mess. One of them looked awfully familiar but Jeno being Jeno not bringing his glasses along couldn't see who. Jungwoo placed his free hand on his hips. 

"Your Father didn't send you with us to take a luxury stroll in a kingdom you don't know." Jungwoo scolded. 

The blonde haired Chinese shrugged. "Sorry, hyung. Got curious."

In a blink of an eye, the Prince felt a pair of arms being thrown around his weak body, catching him off guard. 

"Hyung..." Jeno's eyes widened at the voice. "I thought I would never see you."

"J-Jisung?"

The dark brown haired teen pulled away, smiling with tears eyes. "It's been so long since you left for war. I missed you so much."

"What are you doing with them? Shouldn't you be in Weuyon?" Jeno asked. 

"Father paired me up with Chenle. He said he wants more grandchildren." Jisung scoffed. 

Jeno laughed and patted him on the back. "But it looks like you and Chenle are in good terms."

Blush appeared on Jisung's cheeks. "I t-think?"

" You're cute." Jeno stated, pinching Jisung's soft cheeks. "Come let's not waste any time."

Jeno brought the three to the room, only to stagger behind in the end. He grabbed onto the handle of the dining room door and doubled forward. Jisung looked at him worriedly. 

"Are you okay, darling? You look pale." Jungwoo asked, concerned. 

"I'm fine. It's the makeup."

Jeno took in a deep breath and gestured for the guests to get in, his vice-like grip almost denting the handle. He closed the door and took another breath before turning around, forcing a smile on his face. 

"This place hasn't changed at all." Yukhei commented. 

The Prince made his way to his seat beside Mark's, thanking the servants for serving them the dishes. He took a sip of his drink and sighed. He doesn't want to eat. 

"It's just the way it used to be." Yukhei added. 

Mark hummed. 

"Just like when Taeyong used to rule this place."

The King hummed again. "When he was still alive." He said, glaring at Jeno from the side. 

Jeno shrunk in his seat and held in a sob. Taeyong was an amazing King that ruled Dereum, the best King Jeno has ever knew. Even his own father lost the competition. He reached for the fork and poked it into a piece of chicken, putting it into his mouth as Mark and Yukhei talked about Taeyong ruling the kingdom in the past. There was never a time Mark didn't glare at him. 

Of course. 

He didn't only kill Donghyuck. 

He killed Taeyong, Mark's brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super sorry for the delay :(( do comment below on what you think i kinda rushed with this one


	3. Chapter 3

 

Dinner was extremely painful for Jeno. He tried to eat the meal on his plate, gripping onto the arm rest of the chair, forcing himself to down his food. Trying to eat bread was already difficult for him, eating a meal was torture. He coughed and took a sip of his drink. Yukhei who was sitting across him was chatting with Mark, catching up with what they missed. Renjun joined as well but his attention was divided to them and Jaemin. Jungwoo was having a conversation with Jaemin while the teens were merely listening to the others, whispering to each other.

"So, how long are planning to stay here?" Mark asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Yukhei put a hand up for the younger to wait, gulping down his food. "Just three days. Then we will have to visit Muhania."

"Muhania? Why?"

"Remember the war at Muhania you were talking about? Yeah. That one. They are running out of resources, approximately in a week they won't have any food left to feed. We have sent some of our people to Muhania. I just have to sign the contract with the King and things will be settled."

Mark nodded his head in understanding. "I'm surprised Jaehyun is asking for help." He commented.

"Me too. Normally he would have things settled."

"Maybe Taeyong's death affected him."

Jeno didn't miss the glare sent at him. He sighed and forced himself to eat. _I didn't mean to kill him...._

"I hope my own kingdom has their own resources to feed on. We're sharing resources for a month, Jaehyun promised to get things done by a month which I know logically won't work." Yukhei said, putting his fork down.

"You're staying there for how long though?"

"A week. Things need to be settled."

"What about Jungwoo hyung?" Jeno spoke up. "Isn't he due soon?"

Yukhei blinked. "Oh he's staying here. He might give birth any time. I hope that doesn't bother you."

Mark scoffed. "It's alright, man. I mean... we have _Jeno_ here who can handle Jungwoo hyung." He said, saying Jeno's name as if it was foreign.

"There is Chenle and Jisung by Jungwoo's side. Jeno can rest. He's pregnant after all." Yukhei said, smiling genuinely to Jeno.

"Your baby should be the one you should take care of, not me. Don't worry. Chenle and Jisung can take care of me." Jungwoo assured.

Jeno had a sick feeling in his throat but he still smiled back. Jaemin who wasn't seating that far away from him looked at him with worry. He must have shown a lot of concern on his face that Renjun noticed. The conversation returned back to normal, Mark telling him about the weird things he came across when he visited Tendei and Yukhei storytelling about his younger brother Yangyang who complained to the former King regarding Yukhei's crowned place. Jeno kept quiet.

"Shit." He mumbled.

Bile was reaching his throat, his body was making him throw up. His plate was barely half eaten. Before he could make a scene, he got up.

"Excuse me." He whispered, leaving the room for the bathroom nearby.

Jeno banged open the door and threw himself to the floor, throwing up everything he just ate into the bowl. He gagged as food kept flowing out from his mouth and into the bowl. Meanwhile, Jungwoo sat up straight, alert. Jaemin was just the same.

"Oh dear, is he okay?" Jungwoo asked, looking at Mark.

The guests looked at Mark in curiosity, unlike Renjun and Jaemin who just ignored. He gulped. Shit.

"God, that hurts." Jeno murmured before dry heaving into the bowl once again.

His hands gripped onto the bowl hard, turning his knuckles white. His eyes welled up with tears. The vomiting was so violent, Jeno wanted to cry. He sighed and tried to catch his breath as he placed his forehead on the bowl. Another surge came and Jeno found himself dry heaving into the bowl again. A hand rubbed his back.

"M-Mark?" He barely spoke.

The King only kept a stern face, wiping the tears on the pregnant male's forehead. Jeno didn't wait for a reply, puking into the bowl over and over again that he barely had any energy left. He fell into Mark's arms, chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Can you stand?" Mark asked.

Jeno nodded and tried to get on his feet only to wobble and fall back into Mark's firm arms. "N-No..."

"Let's go back to the dining room. They're going to wonder what's going on." Mark said, his voice emotionless as he stood from his squatting position.

"I can't join them today. Tell them I will join breakfast next morning." Jeno breathed, gripping onto Mark's forearm tightly as he tried to stand.

"Will do." The older stated.

Jeno stumbled over his feet, his heart beating against his chest so hard in fear of falling on the ground. Mark held him tight enough to keep him standing. Mark wordlessly aided Jeno to their bedroom.

"Why are you doing this?" The younger spoke, voice soft and scared. "I can make my way back."

Mark rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I know I can simply ask a staff here to send you to our room. But that won't bring Lucas such a good expression about me, hm?"

Jeno expected this. "Just let me be, Mark. I don't need you. The rest do. Now go and help them." He said.

_What's the point of him doing this?_

There was a spark of anger in Mark's eyes but Jeno only dismissed it and pried Mark's fingers from his wrist. The King only turned on his heel, leaving him in the halls alone. Jeno weakly made his way to the room, lying down onto the bed almost immediately when he got there.

"Why are you doing this to me, baby?" He lightly chuckled, rubbing his baby bump. "Daddy doesn't love me.... shouldn't you love me too?"

Tears made its way to his eyes. He sniffled and sighed.

"How do I make Daddy love me, huh? Love me just enough to make me happy?" Jeno whispered, tears dripping onto the pillow. "Do you want to feel Daddy holding you? Rubbing the little tummy you are sleeping in?"

Jeno was sobbing now. He turned on his side and cried, one hand covering his mouth, another on his stomach.

"If I make Daddy do that, would you love me then?"

The waterworks ran faster as Jeno thought about Mark lovingly rubbing his baby bump with a smile on his face. He sobbed harder as he imagined Mark massaging his sore back, humming sweetly to calm the pain. He wanted so much from Mark when all he can get was little.

"How do I be the person he loves? I'm not Donghyuck. I never will be." Jeno whimpered. "How am I supposed to be the person I killed?"

"You didn't kill anyone, Jeno."

The pregnant male looked at the door where Jaemin was standing, leaning against the door frame. He wiped his tears as Jaemin walked in, sighing.

"Jeno, listen to me. You didn't kill Donghyuck. You didn't kill Taeyong hyung. You didn't kill anyone." Jaemin said slowly.

"But they died, Jaemin! Because of me!"

"They didn't. Dereum were outnumbered. How are you expecting us to win without loss of lives?"

"Donghyuck and Taeyong would have lived if it wasn't for me."

Jaemin sat on the bed and sighed, wiping away the tears on Jeno's cheeks. "Stop saying that. You can't say the word _if_ anymore. We have to move on. Who knows even if Mark didn't help you, they will still be killed."

Jeno looked away and faced his back to Jaemin. "At least Mark won't hate me."

That made Jaemin shut up. He bit his lip and left. He walked down the corridor and ran a hand through his pink colored hair, letting out a shaky breath.   
  
  
  


 

 

 

_"Jaemin, is it bad that I love him?"_

_Jeno rubbed his flat stomach, leaning his head against his friend's shoulder. It's been five days since the news of Jeno's pregnancy was being discovered. He doesn't know how to break the news to Mark, since the other is still emotionally unstable after Donghyuck died._

_"I don't know, Jen. I think you would be so much better with another person." Jaemin sighed. "If Hendery wasn't too greedy and impatient, I would have thrown you to him. He's an amazing king to be honest for a king my age. Weishen won't have trouble to deal with. But two other princes won his heart you stood no chance."_

_"I don't like Hendery."_

_"I know you don't. But your life would be so much better with him."_

_Jeno pursed his lips and only stared down at his tummy. A little bean is growing in him. He loved the idea of pregnancy but what scared him was Mark. He closed his eyes and let the gentle wind loll him to sleep, so he could keep his mind off Mark for once._   
  
  
  


 

 

 

"Good morning, hyung."

Jeno fluttered his eyes open and rubbed them, eyebrows knotted together as he tried to guess who was by the door. He forced a smile at the sight of his younger brother.

"Good morning to you too, Jisung." He greeted.

"Feeling better now?"

"Maybe? It's normal now."

Jeno sat up against the headboard and winced. His back hurts. Damn you pregnancy. Jisung hurried to him and immediately started massaging his hyung's back.

"Y-You don't have to." Jeno insisted.

"I would massage Jungwoo hyung's back sometimes. I'm used to it." Jisung shrugged it off.

"Speaking of Jungwoo hyung," Jeno began, looking at the younger. "How is he?"

"Fine, I guess. I mean Yukhei hyung is with him. He must be perfectly fine."

"What time is it?"

"Eleven. Just lay-"

"Goodness!" Jeno exclaimed, sitting up straight instantly, scaring Jisung in the process. "I didn't join you for breakfast!"

"Hey, it's okay! It's just breakfast. Besides, Mark hyung told me that you're too tired to be woken up."

"H-He did?" Jeno asked, surprised.

"I mean you weren't well, last night. We can't expect you to feel better overnight."

"But-"

"It's fine, hyung. You're pregnant. We all understand."

Jeno looked into Jisung's eyes and hugged him, startling the poor teen again.   "Thank you, Jisung."

Jisung slowly placed his hand on the older's back. "You're welcome?"

"Now will you bring me to Jungwoo hyung? I would love to bring him around the castle."

"Aren't you pregnant? Shouldn't Mark hyung do this instead?"

Jeno kept quiet and whispered. "He's always busy. Let's not disturb him."  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

The whole day was tiring for Jeno. He had brought Jungwoo all around the castle, up and down the stairs. Jungwoo was coping just well and even if he was tired, he told Jeno he needs to walk to ease labour. Chenle and Jisung was always in toll, unsurprisingly holding hands while they walk. The King of Weuyon wasn't kidding when he wants more grandchildren. He massaged his sore feet as he sat on the bed.

"It's time to eat." Said a monotonous tone coming from the door.

"I'm not hungry." Jeno answered dully.

"They are waiting in the dining room."

"Mark, please." He begged. "I don't have the appetite. I'm just going to end up throwing up whatever I eat. Just tell them I'm tired and resting."

Mark bit his lip and tightened his grip on the doorknob before letting out a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll ask the staff to send you some food to eat." He said in a soft tone before closing the door behind him.   
  
  
  


 

 

 

Jeno certainly wasnt expecting a staff to appear by the door with a plate of warm tteokbeokki and hot herbal tea. He stared at the tray of food being held out to him. He blinked.

"D-Did Jaemin send this?" He asked, hoping it wasn't what he thought it would be.

"No, My Majesty. I was ordered by The King to bring you food." She responded.

"Are you sure it was him?"

"Of course, My Majesty. He came to the kitchen."

The Prince accepted the tray and looked at the food. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, Your Majesty." She bowed with respect.

"You may leave now, I can settle things on my own."

The staff shook her head. "The King has ordered me to make sure you eat."

"W-Why?"

"He didn't say anything."  
  
  


 

 

 

Jaemin knocked onto the door of Jeno's and Mark's bedroom. He was utterly worried. He was busy with his writing that he didn't remember to accompany Jeno to tour Jungwoo and the teenagers around. Now Jeno didn't come for dinner, the worry in him bloomed bigger. He knocked again, this time slightly louder than before.

"Jeno? May I come in?" He called.

He was answered with silence. He knocked for another three times but the door stayed closed. As a rule he and Jeno had enforced, he opened the door after the sixth knock. They have been friends for a long time, barging into each other's rooms was nothing even though it was an action looked down upon especially if you are among the royalty. As long as Mark wasn't in there, he would barge in if he wants to. It's not like Jeno had never entered his room when he was with Renjun before. He peeked his head in and squinted through the darkness. The lump on bed was just enough to tell him Jeno was asleep and safe. He opened the door further to pick up the empty food tray sitting on the bedside.

"Shit." He whispered before rushing out of the room.

He closed the door silently with one hand, his eyes wide. He blinked profusely, trying to decipher what was going on. The candle torch danced along to his thoughts. He leaned his back against the door and let out a breath. He was sure he saw two lumps under the bed, both incredibly close to each other.

"That couldn't be Mark, right?"

He scurried off after shoving the tray to an unexpected staff, running his way to Renjun's room. He needs an explanation.  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

_He brushed his hand on the glass coffin, looking at the lifeless body lying in it. There were withering white roses scattered all around it. He opened the side panel and reached for the lifeless' hand._

_"Is it bad I am starting to love him?"_

_He dropped the white rose he had brought onto the floor. He pressed his forehead on the glass. The hand was cold and stiff unlike how it was before when the man was still breathing._

_"Does it mean I'm breaking our promise?"_

_He took in a deep breath and stopped the tears from falling. He rubbed his thumb on the drying skin of the dead man. It's only a month the latter had passed away, yet it felt like it was only yesterday._

_"Will I hurt you if I do?"_

_"But will I hurt him in the end?"_

_A sob escaped his lips._

_"What should I do, Donghyuck? What if I end up loving him?"_


End file.
